The Other Rooms of Marriage II
The Other Rooms of Marriage II
Counselling for Wellness and Fulfilment.
Looking from the Outside, Understanding from the Right Side
Here I will not
be discussing from other room but from the outside and surroundings of the
building called marriage. Trying to see the various foundations the building can
have and the possible results.
Let us look at
marriage with a view to understanding what it is, what it is assumed to be and
why so.
v What is Marriage?
An act of, and integral path of Ibadah or just a Social Contract?
v Is there a guide to happiness in marriage?
v Why are many men and women unhappy in marriage?
v Where does the culture equation come in for a happy marriage?
Answers to these
questions will depend on the religious, cultural and social standing of the respondent.
I would love to receive your answers and explanations.
However it worthy
of note that Marriage is an act of worship, as all major religions are seen to
say so, and have set rules for marriages to be said to be or have been
conducted, consummated, successful or unsuccessful.
My discussion will
be looking at this from the Islamic perspective, starting from a glimpse of the
purpose of our being created to the possible answers to the questions posed.
So, Why were we
created?
The answer is
found in the sura 51 ayat 56, a translation of which reads “and I (Allah) did
not create the jinn and mankind except to worship ME”
And we are
asked in Al-Mu’minoon (23) ayat 115,116
“Did you think that
We had created you in play (without any purpose), and that you would not be
brought back to Us?
So Exalted be
allah, the True King:La ilaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped
but He), the Lord of the Supreme Throne!”
And its further
pointed out to us in sura Al-Anbiya (21) ayat 16,
“And We created
not the heavens and the earth, and all that is between them, for mere play.
We created them
not except with truth (i.e. to examine and test those who are obedient ant those
who are disobedient and then reward the obedient ones and punish the
disobedient ones), but most of them know not”
This in essence
says we are here to worship Allah and seek His Rahmah, to do this we are told
that there is guidance for us in the Qur’an and Hadith (sunnah of the Prophet
Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasallam).
Baring in mind
that Allah has told us “this day I have perfected for you your religionand
completed My favour on you and chosen for you Islam as your religion” sura Ma’ida
ayat 3
This all brings
us back to the questions is marriage an act of ibadah (worship) or not, and
what makes it so?
What is your
opinion and why?
In recent times
we hear of an upsurge of unhappy and broken marriages, some broken to a point
of divorce and others living together as strangers at best.

So what went
wrong, why is it so, who really has the blame?
We hear of
cases where the “couple” live in the same house but live different lives devoid
of each other, in some cases waiting for a lengthy divorce to come through and
in others “living the illusion of having both worlds” being a married single.
Starting from
the beginning let us define what is marriage and why do people get married?
The answer to
this question when given sincerely and viewed objectively, will set the
foundation for a happy and peaceful life for both the man and the woman.
So I ask you
all again,
v What is Marriage?
An act of, and integral path of Ibadah (worship of GOD) or just a Social
Contract?
v Is there a guide to happiness in marriage?
From the religion or culture
v Why are many men and women unhappy in marriage?
Food, Sex, Companionship, Fantasy block, Outside moderators……?
v Where does the Socio-Cultural equation come in for a happy marriage?
Give your answers as comments, we will then form the foundation to
harmony looking at all the rooms and gardens in the house of marriage, with a
view to having a wonderful house, where fear of GOD, Love, Submission,
Happiness and Contentment fill the air.
Should you
however have a need to talk we are available to answers questions and heal with
you.
Shifah Holistic
Health Care
08099331855
@ShifahHolisticC
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