The Other Rooms of Marriage II


The Other Rooms of Marriage II

Counselling for Wellness and Fulfilment.

Looking from the Outside, Understanding from the Right Side


Here I will not be discussing from other room but from the outside and surroundings of the building called marriage. Trying to see the various foundations the building can have and the possible results.

Let us look at marriage with a view to understanding what it is, what it is assumed to be and why so.

v  What is Marriage?

An act of, and integral path of Ibadah or just a Social Contract?

v  Is there a guide to happiness in marriage?

v  Why are many men and women unhappy in marriage?

v  Where does the culture equation come in for a happy marriage?

Answers to these questions will depend on the religious, cultural and social standing of the respondent. I would love to receive your answers and explanations.

However it worthy of note that Marriage is an act of worship, as all major religions are seen to say so, and have set rules for marriages to be said to be or have been conducted, consummated, successful or unsuccessful.

My discussion will be looking at this from the Islamic perspective, starting from a glimpse of the purpose of our being created to the possible answers to the questions posed.

So, Why were we created?

The answer is found in the sura 51 ayat 56, a translation of which reads “and I (Allah) did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship ME”

And we are asked in Al-Mu’minoon (23) ayat 115,116

“Did you think that We had created you in play (without any purpose), and that you would not be brought back to Us?

So Exalted be allah, the True King:La ilaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He), the Lord of the Supreme Throne!”

And its further pointed out to us in sura Al-Anbiya (21) ayat 16,

“And We created not the heavens and the earth, and all that is between them, for mere play.

We created them not except with truth (i.e. to examine and test those who are obedient ant those who are disobedient and then reward the obedient ones and punish the disobedient ones), but most of them know not”

This in essence says we are here to worship Allah and seek His Rahmah, to do this we are told that there is guidance for us in the Qur’an and Hadith (sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasallam).

Baring in mind that Allah has told us “this day I have perfected for you your religionand completed My favour on you and chosen for you Islam as your religion” sura Ma’ida ayat 3

This all brings us back to the questions is marriage an act of ibadah (worship) or not, and what makes it so?

What is your opinion and why?


In recent times we hear of an upsurge of unhappy and broken marriages, some broken to a point of divorce and others living together as strangers at best.

The sermons in the masjids and Churches talk many a times on the spate of divorce and broken homes, and in the places of “relaxation”, saloons and gossip mill the stories abound of unhappiness in marriages, here mostly laced with the venom to break the weak ones and weaken the strong ones.

So what went wrong, why is it so, who really has the blame?

We hear of cases where the “couple” live in the same house but live different lives devoid of each other, in some cases waiting for a lengthy divorce to come through and in others “living the illusion of having both worlds” being a married single.

Starting from the beginning let us define what is marriage and why do people get married?

The answer to this question when given sincerely and viewed objectively, will set the foundation for a happy and peaceful life for both the man and the woman.

So I ask you all again,

v  What is Marriage?

An act of, and integral path of Ibadah (worship of GOD) or just a Social Contract?

v  Is there a guide to happiness in marriage?

From the religion or culture

v  Why are many men and women unhappy in marriage?

Food, Sex, Companionship, Fantasy block, Outside moderators……?

v  Where does the Socio-Cultural equation come in for a happy marriage?

Give your answers as comments, we will then form the foundation to harmony looking at all the rooms and gardens in the house of marriage, with a view to having a wonderful house, where fear of GOD, Love, Submission, Happiness and Contentment fill the air.

Should you however have a need to talk we are available to answers questions and heal with you.

Shifah Holistic Health Care

08099331855


@ShifahHolisticC – Twitter

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